The Beyond Burger®

Welcome to The Beyond! We are a sci-fi/fantasy roleplaying forum. In this world, it's a game of survival; only the fittest will live. Don't worry, we won't bite; we've got an awesome staff team, and equally amazing members. Make sure to read over the rules before you begin rping!

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The Beyond Burger®

Welcome to The Beyond! We are a sci-fi/fantasy roleplaying forum. In this world, it's a game of survival; only the fittest will live. Don't worry, we won't bite; we've got an awesome staff team, and equally amazing members. Make sure to read over the rules before you begin rping!

Please register or login!

The Beyond Burger®

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Latest topics

» Mari Amaterasu
by Mari Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:31 am

» Azalea
by Lexia Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:41 am

» Anti-Gun Orb v1.0
by sLy Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:24 am

» Zara Stein (WIP) CPP Soldier
by Defaox Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:34 am

» Lore: The Joevak Empire (The Commonweath of Phoenix Prime) WIP
by Defaox Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:10 am

» Lore: The Nypherian Empire
by Defaox Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:06 am

» Buying/Selling in the Marketplace
by Aero Dynamic Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:14 am

» Sly's Weapons and items
by sLy Fri Sep 07, 2018 5:22 am

» Sell directly to the marketplace
by sLy Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:30 pm

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    Chrysanthemum

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    Aero Dynamic
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    Post by Aero Dynamic Sun Sep 11, 2016 11:03 am

    Approved
    Anonymous51
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    Post by Anonymous51 Sun Sep 11, 2016 12:06 pm

    Um....why am I listed in your app?
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    Griffin
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    Post by Griffin Sat Sep 17, 2016 7:45 am

    I think this is the worst example of a character I have ever seen. This goes beyond the levels of a mary-sue. This is a mega-sue. God knows  why Aero accepted you.



    Also, I don't really appreciate you sue-ifying Griffin and changing his history. That was pretty uncalled for.
    Askyus
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    Post by Askyus Sun Sep 18, 2016 6:49 pm

    To be honest, I didn't read the entire thing. It's massive, but from what I can gather from several paragraphs and what sections I've looked at makes me agree with Griffon. This has got to be a shining example of everything you shouldn't do with a character.
    sLy
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    Post by sLy Mon Sep 19, 2016 1:42 am

    On the basis of basically being superior in every way, being able to ambiguously manipulate others and even alter time and space and creating things out of nothing... I am going to withdraw Aero's approval.

    DECLINED.
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    Post by Askyus Fri Sep 23, 2016 11:57 pm

    I have read the entire thing twice, and my opinion hasn't changed. It's clear you've put a lot of effort into your character, and I appreciate that. But I honestly think you've developed this character in the wrong directions. Several traumatic events, infinite beauty, god powers, approval and adoration from everyone around her, combined together they're all the common hallmarks of, well, a generic bad character. If you can imagine yourself in a roleplay with other people, using this character. You would break so many 4th walls, use so much meta, have such an extreme effect on everyone else that it would ruin the RP for everyone, including yourself.

    If you'd like to claim those character sheets you stole as name coincidences or your own work, there's a good word for that, it's plagiarism.


    Last edited by Askyus on Sun Sep 25, 2016 1:05 am; edited 1 time in total
    Troy
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    Post by Troy Sat Sep 24, 2016 1:22 pm

    Chrysanthemum Mary_sue___how_to_tell

    Am I helping in anyway doing this?

    Also sweet mother of Horus, what did you do to Troy's and Crossfire's backstories and nicknames?! You made them atrocious! Matter of fact, you inserted yourself in everybody's backstory... that's just stupid.
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    Post by Lexia Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:51 pm

    One major problem I have is that, with your character, you have put everyone else's profile into your own thread. By doing this, you have power played our character by inserting yourself in their own history. Without anyone's permission. I am going to need you to change that so you don't put yourself into everyone's history and make them your friend or enemy, you should experience the fun and RP that for yourself.

    As for your abilities, I reccomend only having 1 or 2 of them, as your character is incredibly powerful. However, I would stay well away from the abilities which Sly has mentioned ( Time, space, void, over the top abilities (ones that can instantly kill)), etc.

    I would also like you to have a giant, absolutely giant, flaw with your character. Don't make everyone able to love and sympathise with her due to her traumatic past! You should RP that <3 Rp the relations that you form, but don't have it so everyone loves her no matter what :)

    If you would like further clarification, please! By all means, send me a pm and I'll get back to you as soon as I can :)
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    Lexia
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    Post by Lexia Sat Oct 01, 2016 6:41 pm

    Hey hey, you don't need to be so aggressive. Believe it or not, people are trying to help you improve your character and giving you pointers. We also do not think that about yourself.

    I would still like you to remove some of her abilities, if you don't, I'm afraid that she cannot be accepted as she is. She is too powerful for the site, she has a perfect goddess mode (that is not allowed at all) and you refuse to change it. We do not want someone who is 100% perfect and able to just destroy us all at will or make us do things which we wouldn't do. If you wish to be approved, then you need to take a step back and remove abilities and such. But you must take away the goddess mode.

    And as for having everyone sympathise with her, as I said, you have to RP that. You can't just throw yourselves in everyones history, especially because it just isn't true as to what happened. By doing that, you could potentially ruin people's backstories and such. That's not incredibly considerate.

    So as I said, here are some pointers as to get yourself approved!
    ~Remove your goddess state.
    ~Remove some of your powers, keep maybe 5 or so, but remove the ones which Sly has mentioned.
    ~Put flaws in your character, don't make them perfect.
    ~Put some flaws in your characters appearance. If they are really so 'perfect' they are a Mary Sue, especially paired with her perfect personality.
    ~Get rid of some of the perks in her personality and make some things which she isn't good at. Maybe she doesn't understand jokes and takes everything seriously? Maybe she doesn't accept help when she needs it and fails because of it? Make your character interesting! Don't make her perfect like she is. Perfection is boring in most cases.
    ~Remove your character from everyones history. This is a must unless you receive permission from the owner of that character to do so.

    And remember, we don't want to shut you out, but we want you to come and RP. You cannot control our characters by throwing yourself in our history, it's completely unfair and it just wouldn't happen. I can tell you right now, Lexia would NOT enjoy that nickname at all...

    Please, we're honestly trying to help you and we don't want to shut you out :) But we can't let you throw yourself into everyones history, without permission, we also can't allow such an overpowered character in. I'm sorry if you do not approve of this or if it makes you angry, but I feel that's what you need to do to get yourself approved.
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    Troy
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    Post by Troy Sat Oct 08, 2016 12:03 pm

    Coincidence? Then tell me... why are everything in the profiles you listed in your app have the exact looks, powers, down to every single detail to our characters? The only things you changed are the nicknames, and a little bit of how the powers work with some. Also, the whole "everybody she loves died, so that doesn't make her perfect!" thing is very Mary Sue like.

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